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January 8, 2009

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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
enlarge	Authors: Susan Forward, Craig Buck Publisher: Bantam Category: Book List Price: ~~$16.00~~ Buy New: $6.40 You Save: $9.60 (60%) Buy New/Used from $6.40 Avg. Customer Rating: (130 reviews) Sales Rank: 3815 Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published) Media: Paperback Number Of Items: 1 Pages: 324 Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.3 Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.1 x 0.9 ISBN: 0553381407 Dewey Decimal Number: 362.829280973 EAN: 9780553381405 ASIN: 0553381407 Publication Date: January 2, 2002 Release Date: January 2, 2002 Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Editorial Reviews: Product Description Are you the child of toxic parents? When you were a child... ? Did your parents tell you you were bad or worthless? ? Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you? ? Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems? ? Were you often frightened of your parents? ? Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret? Now that you?re an adult... ? Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child? ? Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents? ? Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money? ? Do you feel that no matter what you do, it?s never good enough for your parents? In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents ? and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence. Amazon.com Review All parents fall short from time to time. But Susan Forward pulls no punches when it comes to those whose deficiencies cripple their children emotionally. Her brisk, unreserved guide to overcoming the stultifying agony of parental manipulation--from power trips to guilt trips and all other killers of self worth--will help deal with the pain of childhood and move beyond the frustrating relationship patterns learned at home.

Customer Reviews: Read 125 more reviews... Relational January 2, 2009 Sometimes the better part of the cure is diagnosis: there is a lot of healing in finding out the simple truth that it wasn't your fault--that they--whoever they may be--were truly dysfunctional and abusive. How do you find that out when the abusive dysfunctionality is all you've ever known? That's where I found this book helpful. It helped me clarify the patterns of behavior in my own family and gave me cause to re-evaluate my relationship with them, and how I viewed my own childhood. I would recommend reading this book in conjunction with live therapy though, since a book can not gauge where you are with your family. It can, however, give you courage to tackle the process of healing and allow you to evaluate where you are at in your recovery from abuse. Although I underlined about half the passages in this book, I did disagree with the author on one point, though... forgiveness is essential to moving on. I believe this topic was best covered in Jerry Sittser's A Grace Disguised, about how he had to forgive the drunk driver who killed his wife, mother and four year old daughter and how he continues to have to forgive and goes on to clarify the damaging effects of an unforgiving heart. I do sympathize with those reviewers who used this book and believe it did harm to their psyche. But in my own experience (and I had a doozy of a childhood, trust you me) I do not believe that Dr. Forward's book is harmful in any way if used as a tool of recovery and not the source of recovery itself. Remember, a book can't see you cry during a particular part of retelling your story, but a therapist can. Remember that their ability to gauge your reactions is invaluable part of the process when it comes to addressing painful issues in your past. So get this book for validation, not as a substitute for guidance. It won't be the cure, but in its clarification of painful parenting practices, it's certainly a wonderful salve. This is a must read for all people December 22, 2008 No family is perfect, and this book offers insight to dysfunction. Easy read with clear examples of parental behavior and how to overcome the damage. This book gives the first step to understanding frustrations that are underlying in family hierarchy. Toxic parents help me understand my relationships with others and my role as a child of alcoholism. Toxic Parents December 13, 2008 This is one of the best books I have ever read. I could relate to many of the stories indicated inside the book. This is a book you want to read a little, put down, and then reflect before moving on. I could not believe after all of these years the Author gave an explanation to many of my feelings that I did not understand. This book helps you to make peace not only with yourself, but your Toxic Parents. Toxic Parents December 12, 2008 0 out of 1 found this review helpful This is a wonderful book for anyone who is on a journey to discover self. A Slightly Different Approach December 12, 2008 What we experience in childhood shapes us as adults. Our parents play a major role in that. No surprises there. And plenty has been written on the topic. Susan Forward establishes her niche by encouraging readers to go ahead and get angry about... and grieve for... the various things that didn't go as we'd have hoped in childhood. She advocates confronting "toxic parents" as a way to get beyond the damage done and "reclaim your life," i.e. start living in the present, without the emotional baggage of the past. Susan also encourages readers to forgive themselves if they can't - for whatever reason - maintain a close, loving relationship with one or more parents. Most importantly, she encourages readers to put the blame where it belongs and not keep accepting the child's conclusion that "anything done to me is my fault." This book is a nice counterpoint to others on the subject. I also highly recommend David Richo's compassionate East-meets-West book, "How to Be an Adult in Relationships - The Five Keys to Conscious Loving" for more insights on how to move beyond the past and reclaim your life.

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